one kind of join a query in mongoDB, is ask at one collection for id that match , put ids in a list (idlist) , and do find using on other (or same) collection with $in : idlist
u = db.friends.find({"friends": something }).toArray()
idlist= []
u.forEach(function(myDoc) { idlist.push(myDoc.id ); } )
db.family.find({"id": {$in : idlist} } )