I wasn't able to fix the problem OpenCV either, but a video4linux (V4L2) workaround does work with OpenCV when using Linux. At least, it does on my Raspberry Pi with Rasbian and my cheap webcam. This is not as solid, light and portable as you'd like it to be, but for some situations it might be very useful nevertheless.
Make sure you have the v4l2-ctl application installed, e.g. from the Debian v4l-utils package. Than run (before running the python application, or from within) the command:
v4l2-ctl -d /dev/video1 -c exposure_auto=1 -c exposure_auto_priority=0 -c exposure_absolute=10
It overwrites your camera shutter time to manual settings and changes the shutter time (in ms?) with the last parameter to (in this example) 10. The lower this value, the darker the image.