[c++] When should you use 'friend' in C++?

You could adhere to the strictest and purest OOP principles and ensure that no data members for any class even have accessors so that all objects must be the only ones that can know about their data with the only way to act on them is through indirect messages, i.e., methods.

But even C# has an internal visibility keyword and Java has its default package level accessibility for some things. C++ comes actually closer to the OOP ideal by minimizinbg the compromise of visibility into a class by specifying exactly which other class and only other classes could see into it.

I don't really use C++ but if C# had friends I would that instead of the assembly-global internal modifier, which I actually use a lot. It doesn't really break incapsulation, because the unit of deployment in .NET is an assembly.

But then there's the InternalsVisibleToAttribute(otherAssembly) which acts like a cross-assembly friend mechanism. Microsoft uses this for visual designer assemblies.

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