[database] SQL how to increase or decrease one for a int column in one command

@dotjoe It is cheaper to update and check @@rowcount, do an insert after then fact.

Exceptions are expensive && updates are more frequent

Suggestion: If you want to be uber performant in your DAL, make the front end pass in a unique ID for the row to be updated, if null insert.

The DALs should be CRUD, and not need to worry about being stateless.

If you make it stateless, With good indexes, you will not see a diff with the following SQL vs 1 statement. IF (select top 1 * form x where PK=@ID) Insert else update