Your second attempt failed primarily because you named the CTE same as the underlying table and made the CTE look as if it was a recursive CTE, because it essentially referenced itself. A recursive CTE must have a specific structure which requires the use of the UNION ALL
set operator.
Instead, you could just have given the CTE a different name as well as added the target column to it:
With SomeName As
(
SELECT
CODE_DEST,
ROW_NUMBER() OVER (ORDER BY [RS_NOM] DESC) AS RN
FROM DESTINATAIRE_TEMP
)
UPDATE SomeName SET CODE_DEST=RN