I just love getting information like BalusC gives here - and he is kind enough to help SO many people with such GOOD information that I regard his words as gospel, but I was not able to use that order of events to solve this same kind of timing issue in my project. Since BalusC put a great general reference here that I even bookmarked, I thought I would donate my solution for some advanced timing issues in the same place since it does solve the original poster's timing issues as well. I hope this code helps someone:
<p:pickList id="formPickList"
value="#{mediaDetail.availableMedia}"
converter="MediaPicklistConverter"
widgetVar="formsPicklistWidget"
var="mediaFiles"
itemLabel="#{mediaFiles.mediaTitle}"
itemValue="#{mediaFiles}" >
<f:facet name="sourceCaption">Available Media</f:facet>
<f:facet name="targetCaption">Chosen Media</f:facet>
</p:pickList>
<p:commandButton id="viewStream_btn"
value="Stream chosen media"
icon="fa fa-download"
ajax="true"
action="#{mediaDetail.prepareStreams}"
update=":streamDialogPanel"
oncomplete="PF('streamingDialog').show()"
styleClass="ui-priority-primary"
style="margin-top:5px" >
<p:ajax process="formPickList" />
</p:commandButton>
The dialog is at the top of the XHTML outside this form and it has a form of its own embedded in the dialog along with a datatable which holds additional commands for streaming the media that all needed to be primed and ready to go when the dialog is presented. You can use this same technique to do things like download customized documents that need to be prepared before they are streamed to the user's computer via fileDownload buttons in the dialog box as well.
As I said, this is a more complicated example, but it hits all the high points of your problem and mine. When the command button is clicked, the result is to first insure the backing bean is updated with the results of the pickList, then tell the backing bean to prepare streams for the user based on their selections in the pick list, then update the controls in the dynamic dialog with an update, then show the dialog box ready for the user to start streaming their content.
The trick to it was to use BalusC's order of events for the main commandButton and then to add the <p:ajax process="formPickList" />
bit to ensure it was executed first - because nothing happens correctly unless the pickList updated the backing bean first (something that was not happening for me before I added it). So, yea, that commandButton rocks because you can affect previous, pending and current components as well as the backing beans - but the timing to interrelate all of them is not easy to get a handle on sometimes.
Happy coding!