You could save the item as a variable when creating the option menu and then change its properties at will.
private MenuItem securedConnection;
private MenuItem insecuredConnection;
@Override
public boolean onCreateOptionsMenu(Menu menu) {
MenuInflater inflater = getMenuInflater();
inflater.inflate(R.menu.connect_menu, menu);
securedConnection = menu.getItem(0);
insecuredConnection = menu.getItem(1);
return true;
}
public void foo(){
securedConnection.setEnabled(true);
}