Have a look at my primer on exactly this topic.
UPDATE:
var sio = require('socket.io'),
app = require('express').createServer();
app.listen(8080);
sio = sio.listen(app);
sio.on('connection', function (client) {
console.log('client connected');
// send the clients id to the client itself.
client.send(client.id);
client.on('disconnect', function () {
console.log('client disconnected');
});
});