After many years of success with the answers above, I have found this not to work again - but I did find a working solution for subplots at
https://jdhao.github.io/2017/06/03/change-aspect-ratio-in-mpl
With full credit of course to the author above (who can perhaps rather post here), the relevant lines are:
ratio = 1.0
xleft, xright = ax.get_xlim()
ybottom, ytop = ax.get_ylim()
ax.set_aspect(abs((xright-xleft)/(ybottom-ytop))*ratio)
The link also has a crystal clear explanation of the different coordinate systems used by matplotlib.
Thanks for all great answers received - especially @Yann's which will remain the winner.