I think,
EXISTS
is when you need to match the results of query with another subquery.
Query#1 results need to be retrieved where SubQuery results match. Kind of a Join..
E.g. select customers table#1 who have placed orders table#2 too
IN is to retrieve if the value of a specific column lies IN
a list (1,2,3,4,5)
E.g. Select customers who lie in the following zipcodes i.e. zip_code values lies in (....) list.
When to use one over the other... when you feel it reads appropriately (Communicates intent better).