Today I came across this same issue, whilst working on rails 4, I was able to get it working by structuring my fields_for as:
<%= f.select :tag_ids, Tag.all.collect {|t| [t.name, t.id]}, {}, :multiple => true %>
Then in my controller I have my strong params as:
private
def post_params
params.require(:post).permit(:id, :title, :content, :publish, tag_ids: [])
end
All works!