Old question but throwing my solution into the ring for completeness. I needed this when I needed a specific find but a different create if it doesn't exist.
def self.find_by_or_create_with(args, attributes) # READ CAREFULLY! args for finding, attributes for creating!
obj = self.find_or_initialize_by(args)
return obj if obj.persisted?
return obj if obj.update_attributes(attributes)
end